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“I don’t want to go.”
For a parent navigating divorce or separation, those words can bring worry, frustration, and heartbreak. When a child repeatedly resists or refuses time with a parent, both parents may feel overwhelmed. One may feel rejected. The other may feel caught between the parenting schedule and a distressed child.
Family law professionals refer to these situations as parent-child contact problems. Hennepin County is addressing issues concerning parenting time refusal through a pilot project designed to help the court understand what is happening and identify appropriate help sooner.
A child’s refusal to spend time with a parent can have many explanations. For instance, the child may struggle with transitions between homes, different parenting styles, or a parent’s new relationship. Some children feel caught in their parents’ conflict or believe that loving one parent means betraying the other.
Other situations involving parenting time refusal may have to do with a damaged relationship, substance misuse, domestic violence, abuse, or neglect. A parent’s criticism of the other parent or interference with contact may also contribute. Importantly, several factors can exist in the same family. A child may have legitimate concerns about a parent while also experiencing pressure from the other household.
That is why jumping immediately to a label such as “parental alienation” can overlook important information. The first question should be: What is contributing to this child’s resistance, and what does this child need?
At a September 2026 presentation, Hennepin County Family Mediation & Evaluation outlined its pilot project for parent-child contact problems.
The process begins with a judicial officer screening the case and making a referral for a focused assessment when appropriate. Evaluators then gather information about the family’s circumstances.
That assessment may include interviews with each parent, an interview with the child when age and maturity permit, and a review of relevant records. Evaluators may also obtain information from therapists or other professionals who know the family.
The child’s perspective is an important part of understanding the problem. Hearing their perspective regarding parenting time refusal allows professionals to explore the child’s concerns without placing responsibility for resolving the dispute on the child.
The pilot’s proposed schedule allows approximately 45 days for the assessment, with a court hearing at least 50 days after referral to allow time to review the report. The county is collecting data to determine whether that timeline is realistic and what adjustments the process needs.
The evaluator’s report describes the family’s circumstances and recommends possible next steps. The court then decides how to proceed, which may include further assessment.
Recommendations may involve the following:
Some families may need individual treatment or changes to parenting arrangements. Continued court oversight can help establish expectations and monitor participation in cases involving parenting time refusal.
Safety remains central. When a child’s resistance reflects abuse, neglect, or other serious concerns, rebuilding contact requires careful consideration of those concerns. In some circumstances, contact may be unsafe or contrary to the child’s best interests.
The pilot recognizes that families need different responses. It is still being evaluated, and an assessment or therapy cannot guarantee that every relationship will recover.
If your child is resisting parenting time, seek guidance before the pattern becomes more entrenched.
Listen calmly and ask open questions. Avoid arguing with your child about whether their feelings are justified or repeatedly questioning them for details. Share specific concerns with your attorney and appropriate professionals about your child’s parenting time refusal.
Keep adult disputes out of your child’s daily life. Criticism of the other parent, discussions about court filings, and pressure to take sides can add to the child’s burden. If an existing parenting order is becoming difficult to follow, speak with your attorney promptly about appropriate next steps, particularly when safety concerns are involved.
Children are not a prize to be won. Their safety and emotional well-being must guide the work. At Mundahl Law, we believe children should have room to be children throughout the divorce process. Hennepin County’s pilot offers a thoughtful opportunity to understand difficult situations involving parenting time refusal earlier and respond to each family’s needs.
If your child is resisting or refusing parenting time, you do not have to navigate these challenges alone. Contact Mundahl Law, PLLC, to discuss your concerns and explore options that put your child’s safety and well-being first. Visit www.mundahllaw.com to schedule a consultation.
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