Important Child-Focused Considerations in Custody/Parenting Time Disputes

Family disputes are emotional, frustrating, and time-intensive. Whether you are contemplating divorce or pursuing custody, here are important issues that should not be forgotten:

Your Narrative and the Best Interests of the Child

Navigating a custody and parenting time dispute is not about finding a quick fix or easy solution. It’s a process that requires time, understanding, and commitment.

At the heart of any custody matter is a simple but powerful principle: what is in the best interests of your child. In Minnesota, courts operate under the presumption that joint custody is typically in the child’s best interest. But every family is different. To make a well-informed decision, the parties and ultimately the court need to understand the story behind your family, your values, your dynamics, your child’s needs, and the role each parent plays in your child’s life.

Minnesota law outlines 12 key factors under Minnesota Statute 518.17 that mediators, custody evaluators, and judges use to guide custody and parenting time decisions. These include your child’s developmental needs, each parent’s involvement, the emotional and physical well-being of all parties, and more. These aren’t just checkboxes—they’re tools that help the court tailor solutions to your family.

In many custody and parenting time disputes, there's a risk of framing the situation as one party being the "winner" and the other the "loser." However, the goal is not to defeat someone but to find a solution that is in the best interest of your child. Resolving family disputes means more than just solving immediate problems—it’s about ensuring the long-term well-being of your child and knowing your child is safe, loved, and cared for by the individuals who matter most in their lives.

This journey requires patience, transparency, and a genuine commitment to what’s best for your family. With the right information, a focus on clear communication, and an examination of your family’s history, you can navigate these complexities.

Addressing Each Parent’s Concerns

During a custody and/or parenting time dispute, it’s natural to focus on the shortcomings of the other party. Emotions run high, and it’s easy to get caught up in blaming each other for past mistakes. However, while the actions and inactions of each parent are important in determining what’s in the best interest of your child, blame often clouds the path to a solution.

It’s crucial to remember that the primary goal is to work for the well-being of your child and not to dwell on the past.

That’s not to say acknowledging one’s behavior and making necessary changes isn’t important. But the real focus should be on identifying the issue at hand and negotiating a way forward. Focusing on solutions—rather than who is to blame—will ultimately serve your child’s needs better in the long run.

An example is parental concerns about your child’s education:

Challenges like attendance issues, ADHD, autism, or other learning differences can significantly impact your child’s academic success. Rather than pointing fingers, identify the concern and seek professional opinions if necessary. If your child requires accommodation, it’s important to explore those options with your co-parent and ensure they are being effectively implemented.

Even if disagreements with the other parent persist, shifting your focus toward addressing your child’s needs makes a tangible difference in their education and future success. Yes, disagreements will happen, but by moving away from blame and instead focusing on what your child truly needs, you lay the groundwork for meaningful change. In the end, a cooperative approach is always more beneficial than remaining stuck in the past. By prioritizing your child’s best interests, you create opportunities that will have a lasting impact on their future.

Embracing Change and Modeling Resilience

Divorce and changes in custody and parenting time are significant life events that inevitably bring about change: changes in routines, living arrangements, and emotional landscapes. While it's natural to focus on how these changes impact your child, it's just as important to recognize that you're going through an adjustment, too. These moments of transition can be overwhelming, but they also offer an opportunity for growth and healing for both you and your child.

How you navigate this transition not only shapes your own healing but also models resilience and adaptability for your child. Our instinct to protect our child from the full weight of those changes, and that is completely natural. However, part of the healing process is recognizing that you are also undergoing a transformation and it’s important to be mindful of how you approach these changes, especially with your child watching.

By modeling how to accept and adapt to change, you set an example for your child on how to approach uncertainty with resilience. This doesn’t mean suppressing your emotions. Rather, it’s about showing your child that it’s okay to feel sad, frustrated, or uncertain—and that, with time, those emotions will evolve.

Remember, divorce or custody/parenting time actions affects the whole family. Taking care of your emotional well-being isn’t just good for you, it helps create a more stable, supportive environment for your child as you process, adapt, and find your footing again.

How Can Mundahl Law Help You?

Navigating the complexities of divorce and custody issues can be overwhelming. Whether you are starting divorce proceedings or dealing with issues of custody and parenting time and advocating for the best interest of your children. Let us provide meaningful support as you navigate these transitions.

The experienced legal team at Mundahl Law can provide the guidance and strategize to best meet your needs. We’ll help you understand your rights and options under for the divorce or custody process, ensuring that what happens is in the best interest of your child.

If you have questions about custody or parenting issues or need help navigating the divorce process, call Mundahl Law at 763-575-7930 or click schedule a consultation to speak with our Client Advocate. You can also use our online contact form to get the support you deserve during this transitional time. At Mundahl Law, your family matters.