10. Plan a guy’s weekend. Go away with your friends for a weekend of cigars, beer (in moderation of course and without driving), cards, lots of swearing and no women. Just make sure that your weekend is not the same weekend that you have your children and your best friend does not post pictures of your weekend on Facebook.
9. Go to a movie. Pick a movie your wife would never watch with you, something with sports or blood, guts and gore. This is your time to forget the argument with your wife over who has the children on Superbowl weekend or whether your 10 year old should have a cell phone.
8. Have an evening with your children that is completely about them. Divorce is really tough on children. Remind your children that they are your top priority. Take your children to a ballgame or a movie with lots of buttery popcorn.
7. Buy new underwear. Yes, we said buy new underwear. Get rid of your old ratty boxers or the tighty whiteys your wife bought you. Buy something that you want to wear. New underwear can be the start of a whole new you.
6. Join a divorce support group. Big men do cry and strong men do need to speak with someone. You are not alone. Support groups help in realizing that there are others who have your same problems and sometimes they have some good ideas to help you cope.
5. Read a good uplifting book. We recommend Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom, The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics by Daniel James Brown, or Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: on Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football and Assorted Absurdities by Chris Kluwe. Divorce is not the end. It is never too late to re-assess your dreams and follow your goals.
4. Hit the gym. Pump some iron, begin running, or join a flag football team. You will feel better about yourself and let some steam off. You don’t need to become Arnold Schwarzenegger, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t gain a new level of self-confidence.
3. Buy yourself a divorce gift. Go to Cabela’s, Menards or Fleet Farm; find a tool that your wife would never let you buy; and splurge. A pressure washer will remove all of those years of marriage from your deck.
2. Grow a beard, ‘stache or Fu Manchu. We don’t really care what kind of facial hair you grow, but be creative. Try them all: full beard, goatee, mustache, mutton chops, etc. The possibilities are endless. You can attempt to achieve a Paul Teutul Sr. handlebar or some Duck Dynasty beards.
1. Begin your Man Cave. Forget craft rooms. Think dead animals on the wall, mismatched furniture, a mini fridge and a big screen T.V. Ahhhhhhhhh. Woosa.